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Minikin's Journal

Routine Ramblings of an Occasionally Interesting Housewife

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My dearest,

I look on and see how impossibly hard all of life has become for you right now, and I have only a glimpse of how it must feel.

My reading tells me how important your work is to you. How devastating it must be then, during this difficult season. And yet, when I look on, I have hope. I see hard circumstances, and I'm relieved that you are the man in the middle of them. You have an amazing track record of pulling miracles out of a hat. You've never given up, you've always searched and found a solution that far exceeded what I could have hoped in every rough spot that's come before us. I have faith in your perseverance and your cleverness, I have faith that it will all work out.

I've experienced being dumped on, and breaking things off. In those dark times, I knew it was all about me, and I was a mess. Here you are, at the very beginning of grief, feeling the hurt of loss and separation; but it wasn't you, she's the mess right now. I've no idea how hard it was to have to let go. I respect you so much for the love you have shown and continue to show. I admire the lengths to which you were willing to go, how much you were willing to endure before you had to end it. I can't replace her. I can't be her. But I'm here, and I'm ready to be by your side when you ask it.

I can't imagine what it must be like to be this sick. You have always been so strong, so healthy. I've always admired your athletic skill and willingness to work hard physically. You are still so strong. You have carried on against each obstacle, living life as normally as possible as the physical challenges pile up. It's easy to lose hope in tomorrow when the fight for today gets so tough. What you don't see is that I know you will survive this fight, that you will come through it stronger and be an inspiration for others. Years from now, you will look back in wonder at all that you overcame.

Right now, while it's dark and gloomy, I will be your hope. I will keep your spirit safe for you and return it to you when you're ready for it. I can be your hope, because I see the you that you're denying right now. Strong, loving and determined. You are beloved, but even more so, you are admired and respected and appreciated.

With love and respect,

Because so often, it's not about me.


The preceding has been my entry for LJ Idol Season 5, Topic 10, YOU'RE SO VAIN - YOU PROBABLY THINK THIS TOPIC IS ABOUT YOU.

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Awww - that's lovely. Have you shared it with him? If not, I think you should. *Huggles*

I wrote this to him and made minor changes to use it as an entry. Given his state of mind, it's not surprising that he followed up thanking me for the letter with arguing every single point.

Depressed people are hard to be around.

Smart depressed people are harder to be around.

a lovely testament to your devotion... nicely done

HUGS. I was in a similar relationship, thinking it was all me when I broke up a relationship, with someone whom we had such vast differences, and it took at elast two years before i was able to except that our differences is just the way we are and accepted it, and we are now on talking terms. I just had to accept the fact, we are just different.

I loved how you wrote about that. Great job.

Hmm. Interesting, because he's currently planning on being depressed for two years, with extra bouts of sadness scheduled for some specific dates.

Thank you.

Edited at 2008-12-09 05:18 pm (UTC)

Thats an awful feeling when you see someone you care about suffering that kind of pain. He is lucky to have you as a friend.

Yes, it feels awful.

We're working on building that friendship thing. We pretty much wrung the last bits of friend juice out of our marriage years ago, and we're both pretty gunshy at this point.

I liked this. Even though I'm not the person being talked to, it's solid and comforting --- like smelling someone else's homemade chicken soup while you go home to ramen.

Thank you.

Thank you. :)

Especially with the soup metaphor. I suck at fixing soup, but I managed a tasty one last week. It's harder when you're trying to follow a low sodium/low potassium/low phosphorus diet.

This was quite beautiful. Nice job!

Aw. You always have such grace in your posts. :)

Wow, thank you for saying that.

I wish I had more grace in my speaking.

Edited at 2008-12-09 05:22 pm (UTC)

This person is lucky to have you in their life!

Thank you for saying. I know he often truly wonders about that.

Nice post. Thanks for sharing.

Thank you, and you're very welcome. :)

Know it's been said, but it's the only reaction I can muster.

This is truly lovely.

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