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Minikin's Journal

Routine Ramblings of an Occasionally Interesting Housewife

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Free association bedtime bibble

Sore feet tonight should yield an easier day tomorrow, I think.

The cathedral cake will instead be an alpine winter wonderland, courtesy Flar's suggestion. I decided to make the pumpkin cake in a bundt pan, but I didn't adjust the baking time accordingly. The outer ring baked through enough to contain the unbaked center morass, so I transferred the whole mess to an oven safe plate to finish baking it. The transfer broke apart the ring in one spot, so the baked effect is rather close to a mountain-top meadow in shape. Flat's decorating idea is a winner; I'll post pics later.

Before I made the cake, I made cookies for Flar. He was very sweet today. We started the day with a long discussion about the scary that is Flar and Guacha's current relationship. Sure, I'm ready to be just us two, but he loves her -- I don't expect her to just magically disappear. I really don't like seeing him hurting right now. The hardest is the uncertainty.

But since he is admitting to letting the combination of health, job and Guacha get him depressed, I've taken charge of not letting him stay home and be a depresed lump. In a holiday tradition almost as mad as sleeping in the Best Buy line for Black Friday, we went grocery shopping the day before Thanksgiving. Tigger found thyme in the far back of the bottom shelf in the spices, for us and two other families. Then we found it on an endcap -- but the bargain was the brand Tigger found. :)

I made Jerk pork egg fu yung for lunch, then cleaned the kitchen before cooking. Flat kept me company most of the evening, or stayed close -- like when he sat in the jacuzzi while I put together the cranberry fluff.

He read his chapters for the marriage class homework while I was working, and we talked about it as he found bits to share. It's kind of a challenge, since he's reading the book half with he & I in mind, half with he & Guacha.

But in all, a good day.

In the roller coaster ride that is my life, I think I'm climbing the scary bit with the designer noise.

Money: Glengarry is currently back to the shopping banks stage, and Keeneland is on hold until at least January. Which means we're out of money, and kinda holding our breath on JIG continuing to make payroll. I initiated a trade last week in one of my IRAs, and we're expecting a distribution check (electronically) Friday.

Health: Flar is having lower UFs and weight gain, likely from sodium-driven water retention. Thus last week's round of cooking meat at home to use instead of lunch meats, and homemade broth instead of the meat-flavored salts that recipes tend to call out. It's easy to rest in the tactical, after all there are enough challenges. But he's giving up on the strategic -- losing faith in the hope of next year or the year after ever arriving for him.

And me? I'm a giddy school girl: my girly bits doctor told me I could have an endometrial ablation, which has a 50% chance of taking away my period entirely, and an 85% success rate at stopping heavy bleeding and breakthrough bleeding. That's scheduled for Dec. 12, so yay! Then I have a full physical on tap for Jan. 12, when I get to start out the year with a goal of getting more healthy.

Relationships: Flar & Guacha are in rocky territory right now, and he's really hurting. Flar and I are talking more as part of taking this marriage class, and just plain as part of going through tough territory right now. We're pulling together which is always better than pulling separately.

Job: I'm not liking my job as much as I used to. There are new rules in place banning listening to headsets and even banning conversation while working. Not that the latter will affect me -- I had a co-worker for a while, but she doesn't need a second job anymore, so she's quitting. Anyway, I've written up my résumé, and I'm hunting for daywork. The biggest advantage would be getting to spend weekday evenings with Flar and Tigger.

And hey! I'm now in the top half of the LJ Idol contenders. :) Go me!

Enough bibble. Sleep now.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

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Congrats (I think) in the EA. Mine was a real blessing.

Please give Flar a hug for me, and take one for yourself?

Love you both.

It keeps me in touch with my second family to read these. :D i'm sorry he's depressed. I'm sure once critter gets home in lets see 19 days??? that there will be a perk around the house :D

Ok so, Critter has told me about the past few discussions about who i like to call FFHH (it stands for something i'd rather not put on here.) u refer to her as gaucha...or something along those lines... Ok so, I've had many break ups with guys, and he REALLY needs to get over her. This is ridiculous. How blind is to the facts? (you know about the whole $$$ thing.) It really upsets critter to see how bad this is on flar, but at the same time critter doesnt like her, and he isnt blind to it, mainly because this resembles my last relationship... only in that analogy i am like flar and my douchebag ex is like FFHH. Even tho i let it go it still hurt, and i cried a lot and it took will power to let go, but for jiminy crickets sakes this is so dumb. 3 words... grow a pair. (if this seems harsh, i'm sorry... but i dont like to hear critter upset over something stupid that isnt right at all...)

Re: Speaking my mind..

From the outside looking in, it seems like adolescent immaturity.

Facts that you don't have the perspective to digest are that this was an eight year long relationship, based on the premise of it being a long-term, marriage-like relationship.

One, he doesn't accept that it's over and continues to hold out hope for reconciliation, and two, even if it is over, there is a great deal over which to grieve in the ended relationship.

The fact is, it can't even be compared to any adolescent or "teenage" relationship (as a friend of mine has done offline): we aren't even teenaged for eight years. This is no flash-in-the-pan infatuation-gone-wrong. This was a serious, long-term, adult relationship that spiraled downhill in one year's time and ended badly.

He has compared the pain of what he is currently experiencing to the pain of losing his mother. These are real emotions. Hard emotions. It's not easy for any us right now.

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