minikin

I used to rant in this space. I used it to pour out ugliness all over the screen, to get the ugliness out of me. Sometimes, in the writing itself, it was enough to get outside the ranting, "grow up" and not even have to post the rant. Sometimes I would post the rant and I would receive gratification from the comments of people who understood how I felt. More often, I would end up reading it with the "so why don't you change it" reaction that so many people are good enough to refrain from commenting. I could laugh at myself for pettiness or shake my head at the stuck attitude I was keeping.

Ranting is the art of airing out frustrations, hurts -- all manner of negative feelings. But.

What about when the rant is all about somebody else? I mean, what about when you find yourself in a situation that, the more you face the stark reality of it, the more you just hate it. Want to be out of it. Hate whatever or whomever you perceive as keeping you there. Hate yourself for being stuck.

"ooh, what a temptation. Maybe you should make this a Matthew 18 moment."

quiet words. in the middle of a private not-rant. the "i can't do this anymore, it hurts, i'm tired" crying out talk that doesn't rant about the situation, just cries about the resulting feelings.

Matthew 18 has some gems in it. become like little children the parable of the lost sheep...

But the gold in Matthew 18 is solid advice about how to live out conflict. Matthew 18:15-20 outlines a straight forward process. Go to the person who wronged you. In private. Instead of ranting about it to others, instead of flailing about with oh-poor-me, go to the one.

I'm living in conflict. There was this nice comfy place called withdrawal. Oh, it was so much easier there. So much easier to just stop thinking about what hurt, what was just not right. Ignore it, and it won't be a constant thorn of disagreement and heartbreak. Ignore it, and it's easy to forgive, cause I'm all about the grace, right? Except, forgiving isn't ignoring, it's facing it, seeing the ugliness, and forgiving. Loving.

The course? Now I'm understanding what it means to want to burn the book. Throw it across the room. Rant and rave. The answers, they aren't evident yet. But I keep hearing that they will be.

"Give it to God. That's language you can understand, right?" A man who loves me says wise words.

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The preceding has been my entry for LJ Idol Season 5, Topic 8, Sit Down and Shut Up - Ranting LJ style