Oh, I care that I can't buy the really cute skorts I'd like to wear in the summertime. They aren't sold in women's sizes, period. I notice when my hips flow over the edges of my seat, or bump up against my companion. I avoid skirts to keep my thighs from chafing. And I can't remember how long it's been since I could teeter around in heels without absolutely killing my feet.
I care about the superficial effects of being overweight. But only sometimes, when I stop and take the time to notice. And sadly, I care about how it inconveniences me; I don't seem to care how my extra weight affects my husband's attraction to me. He cares about me, but he can't see past my fleshy outfit. Oh, he's not mean about it, he's just honest. Attraction after all, is all about the intangibles. How a person smiles, the color of their hair, the way they strut, the timbre of their singing voice. It's really something different for everyone. And I honestly don't seem to care.
What I should care about is my health. It's obvious from my actions that I don't. I don't feel inclined to physical activity. It doesn't bother me at all to spend a whole day sitting, as long as I've something to entertain me. I'd rather eat yummy food than worry about whether it has too much fat for me. The list of ways I undermine my own health is long.
It's that time of year when I get my annual exam from my gynecologist. As I age, I've become more and more aware that this really isn't an annual physical. He's just checking over my female bits. My family physician has been checking on my blood sugar and blood pressure of late; I'm being treated for high blood pressure and I'm at elevated risk for late onset diabetes. But I've no idea what my cholesterol numbers are and no clue at to the condition of my heart. I've actually been thinking about getting a real physical this year, and writing all this out convinces me that I really need to get - and follow - medical advice about diet and exercise.
All it takes is picking up the phone. It's not even so much as a bicep curl.
The preceding has been my entry for LJ Idol Season 5, Topic 2, I Don’t Care About Apathy: What I "Should" Care About – But Don’t