Doodle Bug (minikin) wrote,
Doodle Bug

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For Surlyone and Cinder

Seriously, have you seen these? Oh my gosh, the inappropriateness!!!

Ooh, no descriptions behind the images, hunh?

I shall describe:

A classic Santa on the cover of "The Claus Delusion" by Richard Dawkins.
The second is "The Confusing Tingle" over a picture of a small girl holding (and peek out from behind) the reins of a chestnut horse with a white blaze.

A board book of "Reservoir Dogs - Kids Edition, adapted by A.A.Milne" with a picture of Pooh holding a gun to Eeyore's head with Tigger gesturing behind him. They are set in a grey alleyway.

The "Deluxe Analversary Edition of Clifford the Big Red Rocket" on a classic Clifford the Big Red Dog cover.

Magic Tree House #13: Oh Shit!! which appears to be set at just the wrong time in Pompeii.

Next is "dont love dem hoes: A 123 Sesame Street introduction to pimping for young boys" on a black and white cover featuring Count Dracula and Miss Piggy, another female muppet dressed as a hooker, another muppet with a beard and a shaggy tophat. There a young boy in the center dressed in pimp clothes, and a rear shot of a hooker swinging her shirt, mostly obscured behind the Sesame Street logo.

And "crazy uncle cannibal and the curiously tasty stew" with a cartoon cover of a daddy holding a baby up to his face.

A "Teach Your Children Well" series book: "Daddy's in the Shower" with the subtitle "Everyone Should Know How Small His Dick Is" which is "A Book About Telling the Truth." The illustration is a polar bear talking into a little girl's ear. The little girl is holding a camera.

"America: A Dissolute Whore of a Nation" with an illustration of lady liberty reaching out, wearing a slouchy toga made from the flag.

"The Shitting Tree" with a rather realistic depiction of a pile of poop pooling up on a hapless victim, being extruded from a cartoon tree branch. The tree has a sad face.

From the "YES YOU CAN" series. It depicted (in cartoon) a small boy leaping from a tall building. The title is "You Can Fly Too! Just Like a Bird"

The twelfth cover is "A Sally Red-Shoes Book" that appears to be about mailing a letter. The illustration is a man holding Sally high enough to reach the handle on the mailbox. The new title is "Sally Red-Shoes Learns About Low-Cost Travel."

On "A Child's Primer to Animal Cruely: 150th Anniversary Edition" The cover art is in black and white engraved line-drawing style, of a small child drawing aim to fire an arrow at a frog.

Next is "I Should Have Used Protection on Prom Night! and other lessons of teen pregnancy" and features a cartoon with a baby covering his mama with food, and "a special introduction by Star Jones Reynolds"

Followed by a simple picture of nine white sheep grazing on a meadow with one black sheep: "You're different... And that's baaaad!"

A classic Hardy Boys cover showing the boys behind a snow bank, looking at a log cabin with people in front of it. Two are on the ground, in pain. One is standing over the others. There appears to be a spray of blood on the window and the snow below it. The title is "The Mystery of the Torture Cabin."

Then we have a children's book with colorful paper-doll shaped children of many races on its cover. "A children's ALPHABET of racial slurs" by Michael Richards.

"You Can't Be an Astronaut! It's just not realistic" with a cartoon of a crying child reaching out to an astronaut floating toward a rocket ship.

"Pop! Goes the Hamster ... And Other Fun Microwave Games" has a cute picture of a hamster in a meadow.

In a scarlet band up the left side of the cover: "Top Secret For Eyes Only-SECDEF" A seal for Department of Defense United States of America with a Eagle appears over the title "Nuclear Launch Protocol and Command Codes for Single-Person Authorization via Non-Secure Civilian Communication Systems" A yellow band up the right side of the cover reads "Do not break seal unless act of war occurs against US. USC 144 § 236"

"YAAAAAAAARRRRGH! It's 3am! Time to Scream Like a Rock Hyrax!" Pictures a child in bed, surrounded by creatures with wide open-saw toothed mouths. The child is also screaming. by Mike Bastard "If I can't get any sleep then neither will anyone else" Book 1.

Another book by Mike Bastard: "The Invisible Child-Eating Crocodiles that Live Absolutely Everywhere." Has a crocodile lounging on a wing-back chair and ottoman. The reading light overhead has a cheetah color-scheme, zebra-striped lamp shade.

"Sharing is for Losers: An Ayn Rand Primer" pictures a dragon over its hoard of gold. There is a sign posted in front: "Piss off"

"My Older Brother, the Tranny" has a put-out looking boy, another group of boys, and a nurse in traditional blue and whites, with a protuberant adam's apple.

"This Naked Picture of Your Mom is Going to Get You a Lot of Fucking Presents" pictures Santa writing his list, holding up said picture (facing off camera).

Richard Scarry's Funny Tapeworm Stories has a typical R.S. illustration of a Father cat reading to a Son cat in his lap. The book they are reading is entitled "It's in Your Ass" and there is a worm (fresh from the usual Scarry A-is-for-Apple) looking over their shoulder.

The Boxcar Children #69 has the girls looking out the window, one hiding behind the first, who is holding the curtain open, and has her other hand to her open mouth. "The Naked Neighbor Boy Mystery"

Choose Your Own Adventure #10 The Classic Series is Back! Choose from 28 Possible Endings. "Oh Shit! You're Going to Die" is the title, over an illustration of a sort of combination scorpion/pincer bug.

"Where's My Fucking Head?" is "A children's guide to the Islamic justice system." The illustration has a headless man using a magnifying glass to follow blue foot prints through a meadow.

The classic Hop on Pop cover has the caution "But seriously, watch out for Pop's balls" added to it.

By Seuss et al, The "One fish two fish red fish blue fish" cover has chromosome and nucleotide strains added on the right and the subtitle "An introduction to bioformatic methods in cladistics."

Just the titles from the second page with the eight "most offensive."

"Mommy Has it Coming ... Now stop crying and get me a beer, Daddy's Gonna Be a While!" By Desi Arnaz.

"But I Poop From There" has a horse and boy on its cover.

"I Found a Dead Bird. Will it fit up my ass?" "a child's guide to things you can stick up your pooper" has a dead bird on the cover

"When Gay Elephants Sneeze!"

"Now THAT Was an Orgy" by Audrey Wood Illustrated by Don Wood

"Anal Beads... They Go Up Your Butt!" by Dustin Diamond

"Why is daddy stabbing mommy with his meat knife?" "Children and adults will feel good after reading Doors. Having kids focus on helping others is a great way to raise self-esteem in kids that don't feel special or important. Any book that can teach positive coping skills to children for handling stress making sense to me."

Uncle Charlie's Pop Up Book, written and performed by Uncle Charlie appears to be a Blue cover with a hole in it.

Karma Poohtra Fun positions for all ages! included Tigger on Eeyore's back, Pooh with honey on his face and the Pooh stuck in Rabbit's hole picture coming out of Eeyore's rear, instead. "The playground will never be the same after Tigger teaches you how to tickle your friends' Pooh-holes!" "You'll be pleased as Pooh as you study his methods of convincing Piglet to part with some sweet-love honey!" "Includes classic 'Poohsitions' from the 1940s, such as 'Full-Body penetration #4" by A.A.Milfe

Very twisted humor here.
Tags: funny, offensive
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