The one I love is God. He is love, and
by His very power and existence defines
love. He created me, He created everything
outside of me, including the concept of love.
He put into my life the people whom I love. My
family: my parents, my husband, my children,
sibling, extended family, friends. He even put
into my life annoying people, whom I'm learning to
love as dearly as my occasionally quite annoying Mom.
He has even made it possible for me to love myself.
After years of doing everything I can to run as far away
from His loving plan as possible. He put people into my
life who captured me with their love and led me back to
God created this amazing, powerful glue that holds all of us
together, called Love. Hollywood doesn't always get the details
right, but they definitely have the importance down. Life is
about loving. Without love, we are nothing. Love is universal
enough that we all think we know the best for ourselves, when it
turns out that Love Himself created a darn successful path.
I was brought into this world in a loving
family. We were a small but hardy crew. The
nature of my father's job kept us away from
extended family except on summer vacations, so I
learned what it was to be raised the only
daughter, only sister, baby of the family. I
had the firmest of foundations, a cheering squad
of granite stability.
I sort of kind of understood the importance of
love. I was thrilled to fall in love for the
first time, in high school. But somehow it also
seemed easy to put aside this childhood love
when I moved away to college.
I met Flar in my first week at Rice. I pursued
him when my roommate “gave him to me.” He told
me he loved me that spring. I broke up with him
the summer before my Junior year, and we married
at the end of my Junior year.
Our marriage has not been a simple happily ever
after. We invited others into our marriage bed and it has helped to amplify
natural weaknesses in our relationship. It nearly tore us apart. What is the
worst thing that ever happened to me? Camel. What is the best thing that ever
happened to me? Without Camel, I don't know if I would have ever, finally sought
out God again. And without God in my life, I would have no hope of ever fully
repairing the marriage I have with Flar.
The one that I love? God. Because He has seen me through all of this. Pursued
me when I ran away, gathered me into His loving arms when I came running back.
Patiently held onto me when all He need do was wait. And He promises me that He
has plans to prosper me, and to finish this great work that He has begun in me.
Flar still loves me, and the rest is in God’s hands.