I think I got most of philosophical bent out in comments on Sydb's journal.
In the following, "today" refers to Friday. "Tomorrow" refers to Saturday. And, after this post, I'll sleep.
Today, Mom and I took the boys to school, then we drove over to Bébé's house to get it ready for the reception tomorrow. Flar had said that the work would be mostly de-cluttering, so I cleared away as much clutter as I easily could, in about 20 minutes. By then, Flar's brother and sister-in-law brought over Bébé and they took over. I left to bowl a make-up game for the bowling that I'd missed on Tuesday.
After bowling, I shopped for the reception at Sam's and Wal-Mart, and brought those supplies over to Bébé's. By the time I had returned, the house had been transformed. There was a Rug Doctor in the driveway, and a fan drying the very clean carpets in the entry, kitchen & dining room.
Mom and I left for home, and had enough time to shower & dress, and make a sandwich for Flar's dinner, before we had to leave to pick up the boys at school. I ransacked the bedroom searching for one particular piece of jewelry that Barbar had given me, coming across three other pieces on my search.
After we picked up the boys, we took them to El Chico for dinner, which lasted just long enough for us to be the first to arrive at the funeral home, a couple of minutes after the official start of the family visitation.
I've yet to see a body which looked like its living counterpart. And yet, I've always felt like this "other looking" body was merely sleeping. I think it's my own natural movements that have succeeded in making me think the body is still breathing. It's so weird. But there just isn't this huge impact on me -- it's so totally not the person who has passed.
There was much crying, off and on, throughout the evening. There were so many people who came to see her. Well, really, to see Bébé or Flar or his brother or sister-in-law or even me. And so many that came because they saw the piece in the paper this morning. I've just now realized that one of those so-familiar faces was a women who sat in the dialysis chair next to Barbar's, that I saw twice a week, for so long.
I met people I've only known through family tales. I saw friends I haven't talked to in months.
Tigger's teacher came. She'd known Barbar, and one of Barbar's closest friends had taught alongside her for years before retiring. One of Critter's teachers came. She's dating (affianced to?) one of the partners in the firm where Flar's brother works. Very small town, we live in.
I thought I'd be bored. Not so. But very tired.
We went first to Bébé's house, and then I realized how very tired I was, and that was the kick it took to take the boys home to get their rest. We got in the car at 9:37pm to drive home, but it felt already like midnight. Once we got home, I was too tired to do anything but sit, so I caught up on email and live journal, and finally started making Traveling Cookies.
Barbar had always made traveling cookies before a long trip, and they're a family favorite. Sort of a butterscotch brownie, very yummy. Tigger loved making them with Barbar. When I suggested that he'd help me make them, it made him cry over missing her. He ended up giving his suggestions for mixing, but stayed in the family room, being sad.
She was a good grandmother. Their love for her is currently measured by their grief. I'm glad that they'll be able to remember her, even if it means so much pain now.
And tomorrow will be even longer.