or, was i?
Skitter back in time a bit to a certain email that I sent to Dorian, telling him of my attraction to him, and his response about loving me and not wanting to hurt our friendship.
Skip along, enjoying Mah Jongg with giggles and joking and occasional hands grazing, and nice strong hugs.
Witness an invitation to be escorted to tonight's Kufs munch, and yes, he uses nice old fashioned words like escort in the nice old fashioned sense.
I asked him whether we were to meet there, or if he wanted to pick me up.
So maybe he gave me the clue. Cause yeah, I'm a lot clueless. For instance, I'm told I was quite the eyeful for many tonight, but I've gotta take it on faith -- I just don't notice these things.
Anyway, armed on the very little arrow of a promised ride, I decided to do myself up tonight. Blown-dry, flowing hair; freshly shaven legs; skirt instead of pants; Make-Up.
And double-bonus totally satisfying appreciation of the effort. Comments on the outfit, the hair, the eyes... So, cool. Two close friends, dressed up for a fun evening talking kink.
Rewind and cover the time again to note that I haven't been shy in obliquely referring to boundaries. His birthday is Pi Day, cause he's turned down the implied offer of any other relevant celebration. Some really excellent zinger last week over Mah Jongg that relied on it, and earned a kiss on the hand. cetra..
Tonight, he made a comment whose motive was probably clarification? That his boundary involves wanting me. You know, the result of crossing a certain point - one that he apparently understands, because hey, I'd have thought the boundary was a shy tighter than I found tonight.
Friends, hugs, massage specifically mentioned. And then, oh, the kiss in the parking lot.
Quite a bit of me wonders how much of all my side of this is the ellusive boundary, the feel of illicit play along the edge - the goodish feelings of pre-sex high school sex
So I brought it up in the car. Too obscurely, asking about when his lines and my lines aren't the same. Put it more point blank while he was painstaking framing his answer.
"so does it bother you that [from my point of view] you were having sex with me all night?"
I think it tickles him that my definitions are so broad and my lines are so, well, generous.
This is going somewhere, but somewhere odd and ill-defined. But I'm going to enjoy the ride. And fix him dinner in two weeks -- Mah Jongg will be at my house.
Dating is fun.