Doodle Bug (minikin) wrote,
Doodle Bug

feeling ish

Okay, so I liked the memes, I posted my own entries to them, thought I was being silly. But one of them was a review of the year in a sense, and has anyone noticed I've been avoiding that? I doesn't help that I've been dreaming dreaming about Camel, and bonus this morning I dreamt about Sydb instead. I really really really don't deal well with loss in my life. And I still find myself reading in memory that he doesn't burn bridges that completely, but now there's not even answers to extremely simple emails, with not even a word of hey-I take it back, I don't want any contact at all, and yet she put me back on her friends list and how can you be so much to someone for so long and then think to go completely and totally away, silent gone completely. There's just too damn much that connects that's still here and daily reminders and okay, so maybe "ish" is an all-out understatement. Need more Knight time. Need more what do I need? Reading Incubus Dreams was a really really bad idea. Miss the energy. Miss the power. Miss him. Still. horribly.

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