Doodle Bug (minikin) wrote,
Doodle Bug

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This was the short version

I'm trying to reconnect with a broken connection. Ball was in my court, my serve was handily returned. This seemed like a fairly nifty where I am right now to record into my journal, as well.

So. How's tricks?

I think the most pertinent phrase that comes to my mind of now is:

Highly Female. Currently bleeding, with that lovely fullness that came with being taken off the pill because of high blood pressure. When I complained, my OB/GYN prescribed progesterone, which made me moodier, sleepy and hungry, so I chose the bleeding. I also figured out that my body is producing enough natural progesterone before my period, that I have to fight to stay awake and on my diet. At least I've got something figured out, though.

Still moody, although dramatically less so, now that I'm taking an SSRI. Caffeine works. Except during aforementioned pre-menstrual timeframe. I'm having to monitor my intake, as more than one 12 oz can of it has me wide awake at 3am.

Amazingly overbooked and complicated in that taking on too much kind of "super mom syndrome" with poly mixed in, kind of way. And, actually managing to avoid that panicked, ohmigod I can't handle it attack, even with a pretty ambitious amount scheduled into my days. I've started attending church, which led me to a weekly bible study, that's really a daily study. And then there's the God Project, which I feel as if I'm not giving enough time, but that does seem to be working out, somehow.

Still quite non-linear, no matter how hard I try, when I write.

Relating to Flar better than I have in years, enjoying my kids, getting time with Knight almost daily, fitting more exercise into my life, eating better, and feeling alive. Spending more time with friends.

I went through hell this summer. Apparently put Camel and Sydb through hell over the last year. Or two? I've figured out I may never really recover from Camel in such a way that I can interact with him in person. *sigh* I've played around a bit with joyful, playful, FUN style BDSM a bit since we broke up, and find that it is still in me. I shy away from the thought of ever having the kind of submissive relationship I had with Camel again. Except maybe in a completely different way, spiritually, with God. As it were. I found a completely different access to worship than I had before, by learning and experiencing energy exchange of intense levels.

Working, three nights a week, and some lunch hours, almost keeping house, taking better care of myself and paying more attention to family and friends.

And feeling more alive, even though writing all this out makes me feel like I should be exhausted. ;)

Flar and I just wrote out a menu for the coming week, and I'm going to turn it into a shopping list and time plan before I toddle off to bed. In order to make all my commitments for which meals I'll cook, I've got to plan a bunch of things out ahead.

Tomorrow's plan:

8 Wake in time to fix breakfast. Shower and dress for church.

11 Church.

12:30 Grocery, Michael's, Incredipet. In reverse order.

Call friends about plans in evening. Call bowling alley to set up make-up bowling for 6:30.


Pick up boys to take to movie.

3:45 The Incredibles

6:30 Bowl

Take home boy(s)

8 Home

Entertain friends. Prepare food plan for Monday/Tuesday.


Ooh, feeling like getting extra sleep tonight. :)

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