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minikin

Minikin's Journal

Routine Ramblings of an Occasionally Interesting Housewife


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Marriage
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minikin
It seems like it's on everyone's mind, these days.

I have only exchanged marriage vows with one person: Flar. I have other relationships that I call marriage, but they are not recognized by any governing body, and there have been no vows, other than "I promise to love you."

I noodled around, and found a copy of the traditional vows that I exchanged with Flar.

In the name of God, I, (name), take you, (name), to be my (spouse-title), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow.

I've been thinking a lot lately about what makes a marriage, what goes along with living together and what cuts across any lines of non-comformity.

What makes a relationship a marriage? And when is it "just" love, no matter how steadfast and deep?

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What makes a relationship a marriage? And when is it "just" love, no matter how steadfast and deep?

I've been sitting here thinking about that, and everything I can think of just seems sort of trite. I was going to say that a marriage is when partners think primarily of the other partner's needs/wants first, and while I think that's important I'm not sure if that's accurate or not.

I was also thinking about the whole "I'd take a bullet for my partner / I'd give up my life to save him or her" but I'm not sure how true that would be either. I mean, bodyguards do this all the time (of course, they're paid to do so) but still.

It's a tough question!

Yeah, it's a tough question.

(a) shouldn't people think about this kind of thing if they're considering marriage?

(b) Wolf and Sydb and I have occasionally thought of writing vows for each other, but we've never sat down to figure out what they would be. I've been thinking about that lately.

So, tough question, but what does it mean to you personally? What (besides the piece of paper from the guvment) makes your marriage with Knight a marriage?

Things may become trite through repetition, but it's also easy to take advantage of that which is always there. I wanna think about the trite stuff, too. Question it, pull it apart and put it back together. Acknowledge it.

(a) shouldn't people think about this kind of thing if they're considering marriage? -Yes, but once it becomes second nature I think you've definitely got something.

(b) Wolf and Sydb and I have occasionally thought of writing vows for each other, but we've never sat down to figure out what they would be. I've been thinking about that lately.

So, tough question, but what does it mean to you personally? What (besides the piece of paper from the guvment) makes your marriage with Knight a marriage?</i> Mutual compatibility, caring about each other's well-being, dependability... lots of stuff, I guess. I dunno, I'm not good with pulling things apart. I'm not very introspective. :)

I would hesitate to put artificial restraints on it. What feels like love to one person, looks like rivalry to another. Is a couple that gets some sort of high from bickering together, any less happy?
Within my frame of refrence, is sharing life closely. Usually living together. For me it would basically require co-habitation to feel valid. But certainly a marriage where someone lives in another country (say military) is valid, and perhaps stronger for the longing.
I would say the other half for me is commitment. A stalwart mutual promise of forever that is somehow binded by proclamation, public or private. Those are definitions that work for me, but If a set of people (be it couple, triad or group) tell me they are married, than I accept that they are, whatever the government, church, or guy up the street might say to the contrary.

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