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Minikin's Journal

Routine Ramblings of an Occasionally Interesting Housewife

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Lots. Scads. Tons. Heaps. More than a wee bit, even.
Something someone said that i want to remember.¹

Spent all day in bed. Well, not all day. I got up around 5pm.

Finished reading Chimera, by John Barth. I'd forgotten how self-aware and literary a work it was.

Tigger brought me breakfast in the bed around noon. The medicine works better with food, so that was welcome. He also brought me soda. Been doing better at drinking water, too.

Flar made glazed chicken, this time with peanuts, and snow peas to go with it.

We watched How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.

Flar's trying to get me to cheer up. My head doesn't seem quite as foggy tonight as last night, and I've asked the boys to get me out of bed in the morning, so maybe tomorrow I'll be more alive.

Flar says he thinks he'll have cash flow fixed by September, and by October, have an extra chunk of money drop on us that will catch us up. I'd like to hope for that, but it seems so soon.

¹i used to ask why, but it always got interpreted as fishing; even when i genuinely don't feel worth wanting

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Honestly, as strange as it may sound coming from someone who actually believes in hope, I find that where money is concerned, it's safer to forget mere possibilities, to not hope for money you don't know you're going to have. Because then, you'll start thinking about how you would spend it; and then, you'll look at your free credit (if you have any) and start thinking, "Ooo...I could put it on credit now and pay it later with that money I'm supposed to get..."

This is a trap I'm still struggling with. I've gotten a lot better, but I still struggle with it.

Re: Hoping for money

Yeah, those are all the sensible reasons to be cautious about hoping for money.

My biggest reason is a history of being disappointed, over and over, by expecting when money was going to come in and it didn't. When there was a likely big client, that never signed. Etc. etc.

So I listen to all the talk of possibilities and try not to be openly negative about them coming to pass, without setting myself up for disappointment in the process.

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