April 26th, 2005

bundled up, walkabout, snow

Slow progress

21 Hours of work (baking, decorating, cleaning) with 11 hours of sleep in the course of 48 hours made for a weirdly frazzled'kin by the end of the weekend.

Add an emotionally tense argument Sunday evening, bottled and stuffed and apparently put down to age, 6 hours of sleep Sunday night in my garret to awaken early enough to drive Mom to the airport, some soothing toddler time with blocks, retail therapy with a similarly frazzled girlfriend, last round of presentation polishing, hurried invitation generation (graphics therapy was underwhelming), over 7 hours of "real" work (the kind that doesn't have any nifty breaks to supervise the computer), only 4 hours of sleep (this time on the couch) before waking in time to drive Tigger to school, 1 hour nap in the car before his presentation, and another 3 hours of nap at home before getting to chess club on time.

Stir.

Flar and I are officially (in the only place that really matters, my own little mind) not talking. Well, not talking about feelings or anything that matters, because I can't do that without bringing up the above-mentioned argument and it's too totally green to uncork. So we're back to roommates, and any night I don't think I can handle sleeping without crying I'm resorting to my garret or a half a xanax. Said amount appears to take the edge off -- since I only take it before sleep, I've no idea what drowsy effect it really imparts, but I don't wake up hungover, and that's saying a lot on only 6 hours.

I forgot to refill my Lexapro last weekend, and I'm not sure when I ran out, but I think I was short last night. Picking that up tomorrow and not overly concerned about drastic effects from missing 2 doses of a drug that took 8 weeks to build up any effect in the first place.

On the side of progress... as that was the point of the post. I've cleaned out my car -- it was getting to me. I've cleaned up my side of the bedroom, and the bathroom. The dirty laundry is almost all in the sorting baskets -- sweaters and fleece are overflowing; and I've a load in the washer now. Critter took it on himself to work in the kitchen this afternoon, and it's clean enough to stop calling to me and let me work on finances the rest of the night.

If I get to bed by 11:30, that'll give me 8 hours of sleep. Otherwise I have to find naptime sometime tomorrow. Around BSF, allergy shot, pharmacy, grocery and Sam's club runs. Then homework with Tigger and work.

On the bright side, I've nothing early on Thursday, so I can work late again tomorrow night and sleep in on Thursday.

Maybe Thursday I'll have time to get caught up on reading LJ. And putting out the invitation on lists and putting up the web page and stuff.

Meantime, happy space is expanding and I've got pinchy nipples.
  • Current Mood
    recovering
bundled up, walkabout, snow

thinking

Yeah, yeah, taking a break from working, whatever.

Thinking about what "not talking" means to me, versus the world-at-large. Flar and I get along great when we're not talking. We talk, just not about anything important. And when I can just get along and ignore it, I'm great, too.

Example, just now. I got the checkbook and receipts entered, then sorted mail. I've now got a pile of bills to post, then I clean up the register to print for Flar to review. In the process of posting bills, some get scheduled to be paid, some are merely scheduled to be printed. His review will correct deposits, give me estimated deposits, and tell me how to monkey with the print schedule to avoid any negative balances due to cash flow.

I'm tired. My original goal for bedtime was 11:30, but if I get to bed by 12:30, I'll still be good to go for tomorrow. So I was thinking of wrapping up and going to bed, with enough sleep to finish this up tomorrow after school. I took Flar's pile into the bedroom to verbally go over the contents, then stuck it in his mail-in pile. When I told him I was thinking of finishing tomorrow and getting to sleep, he sounded okay with that, but I was clever. I actually asked him if he was going to be okay with not getting the report until tomorrow evening.

Um, no. He set aside the morning to work on it.

So, I'm staying up, will probably only need 45 minutes to finish up, so my late goal isn't trashed, and we actually communicated. No rancor. Just no love.

OOh, my posts shall have a tinge of bitterness for a few days. Gotta work on my argument corks, they seem to emit fumes.