March 29th, 2005

bundled up, walkabout, snow


I didn't, in fact, erase the dates I thought I had.

And, since it's still technically Monday, I called him. Er, did the correctly non-invasive thing of messaging him to see if he had time for a short phone call, and he called me.

le sigh.

I mean, okay phone call, nothing bad, neither anything deep. Good to hear his voice. Chops for me, for quieting a lot of pointless voices in my head.

But, le sigh, this generates empty shallow exhibition of loss incarnate.

And, without rancor or really any action on his part, illustrated to me over again the importance of his decision on July 8 last year. As I shut up arguing voices in my head; it is no longer my place to challenge assumptions.

And the intent behind the words is clearly benevolent.

i did say rambly.

nuff said. I worked 10 hours, 17 minutes last night. Starting after 7pm. Yes, this means I was racing the clock to get home before the boys awoke. Showered, blew out my hair, dressed, did *not* look like crap today. Managed to bowl a 202 game and take at least two points, although I didn't even pay attention to that, silly me. I was too pleased about earning a 200 pin for the year. :)

napped before bowling; deposited a check then slept until time to leave for chess club.

In time to leave for fencing -- still time to put on my shoes, I decided my body still had too many fatigue poisons in it for real exercise. So I suggested to Critter that I drop him and pick up needed groceries. He bowed out of class too, and went to bed early.

I read both tabsets of saved LJ posts, and now I'm going to bed. Early for tonight; quite late for Monday.

Tomorrow - Sayre run, BSF, quick grocery run, then tackle the at-home pieces of the list for the week. Then work. Either my half paycheck will imitate a whole, or my first day of work will allow me to slack tomorrow and Thursday. Either is fine with me.

Thursday. First appt. Feeling very unprepared and uncertain of purpose goals meanings.

Sleep now.