August 27th, 2004

bundled up, walkabout, snow

I just wanna say

roina_arwen rocks my world.

I had a great hair day. After doing my Frieda impression in the mirror, I asked for confirmation from Knight, who agreed. Like he ever *doesn't* like my hair. :)

So then I teased the boys that each of them needed to come and tell their mama how beautiful her hair was today. Tigger ignored me. I looked no different to Critter, who is like Knight, in that he always just sees me, rather than how I appear.

I didn't bother to ask Flar, since he would mention a comb.

But then, I unexpectedly got to see Ro on my way to work, dropping off Knight. And she completely unprompted commented on how great my hair looked today.


Oh, and there was that whole, sensitve, loving, sensible, put my enormous fears to rest comfort and acceptance and oooh, with the stroking... on Tuesday night.

And now, I should sleep, before doing irreparable harm to my bounty of an early night from work.

*mwah!!* world
bundled up, walkabout, snow

Catching up at a snail's pace

After I update LJ, I shall wash all the hand-wash dishes. I don't have enough time for a nap this morning, as I am working with the day walkers (hiss - thinking of wearing my fangs). Tentative schedule, working backwards, the way I often do:
  • 10:00 Arrive at work, ready to index my normal Thursday night job
  • 8:45 Arrive at the club, ready to swim and dress for work</li>
  • up 'til 8:30 Wash dishes; fold laundry; throw together clothes for work; dress

I haven't written coherently about Just What's Going On lately.

Topically, then.


The Lexapro appears to be a solid answer to hormonal (or otherwise chemically caused) mood swings. I would not give it up for the world.

No more headaches. My blood pressure reads in normal ranges at the grocery, in the middle of a car-day of errands.

My nails are growing out, with a coat of polish after each swimming session.

My skin is getting softer, with an application of carnation oil after each swimming session.

My hair really likes swimming every day - I've conquered the tangles problem with my lycra swim cap, and have gorgeous curls for as long as I'm cool even to leave my hair down. It's also growing. mmm, long, curly red hair. I distract myself with mirrors.

I'm currently hovering at 196. My tummy is flatter, my hips are slimmer, and I have more energy on swimming days.

I had a call-back to the mammogram place, for more pictures. There is a new area of calcifications in my right breast. It's not in my skin. The calcifications are quite small, and nice and round. Characteristics suggest more pictures in sex months rather than more invasive pictures now.

I have an appointment on the 31st for a fast blood sugar (finger prick) and blood pressure check. My doctor will then comment on the results thus far of my swimming and dieting and whether my blood pressure medicine is sufficient.

My blood type is wanted by the blood center, and all my new meds are fine with them. Go me. Now if I can only remember when I've gone where out of the country.

I've worked out a sleeping schedule which should keep me from falling behind. It involves recognizing that my mornings are naptime, and just accepting it.


I had a fantastic weekend with belmikey. Geeking, sleeping, loving, floating in the upper reaches of ecstasy. Talking, sharing, loving.

knightaudit is with me almost every day. Mostly companionship for houewifey time, but he drags me into naps or cuddles more often now, and yesterday I had fun boinking him awake. When I had a scant half hour slack in my schedule, due to napping.

roina_arwen has been a soft ,sweet presence, ready for comforting, companionship or anything. We had a date on Tuesday night, talked about needful things, connected, felt safe and comfortable. Talked about where we are and aren't and my fears about the future and her reassurance about the present.

Flar and I back together in the stage of comfortable old married couple. Not quite passionate about sex yet. Bigger part is circumstantial than emotional now, which is good. We are back to the "too busy to connect at the same physical times" problem. And the physical thing of "kin's no longer on birthday control, and hey Flar hasn't used condoms since we went fluid-monogamous with Gaucha" part. So, doing fun things which work for me now, and haven't in ages. I can tell by my receptivity and sensitivity that we are back, but it's kind of complicated to spell out here.

Flar and Critter and Tigger all agree that I don't yell anymore.

This amazes me.

Upcoming stuff.

Flar's going to Brazil on the 2nd. Knight and Ro are leaving for Las Vegas on the 31st. I'll be on my own with kids for the first time since Texas, until they return. My search for a babysitter was a bust.

The 19th is my first anniversary with Wolf (we have several). I've been planning to burn up all the rest of my candles with his scent, surf through picture, put away letters, all that stuff that seems potentially daunting/scary/sad making. Wanna write a post about him, about all the good. Expecting to be quite sad that day. Will use other anniversaries similarly until the sad is all squeezed out. It's been a great way to col-shoulder the sad for now. Feeling so good, I wonder if the sad will be there to access anymore.

The 20th is when I've scheduled my Princess Package salon day. Might need it after the 19th, but it'll also open up my birthday week nicely.

A trip to Bloomington to retrieve Hippychick to share my birthday for a week. Considering seeing which parts of The Swinger I'd like to incorporate in my birthday somehow. The body painting comes to mind. There may be more.

A trip to Atlanta for envoy's birthday.

A trip to Brazil with Flar and Knight and Ro.

Knight bought me a necklace and earrings ages ago, as a commitment present. Because a ring would be unacceptable to Flar. Flar's attitude has changed. A ring is going to happen. Actually, three. Part of the talk on Tuesday was what Ro's and my rings will mean. I'm afraid of moving too fast, skipping ahead. Ro suggested I consider our rings friendship rings. On consideration, I realize my ring with Flar and Gaucha has similarly different meanings between Gaucha and me than between Flar and Gaucha. Anyway, past the fear, and enjoying the anticipation and excitement instead.

In looking around for rings that I'll be contributing for the gold, I found my grandmother's engagement ring. Sans stone, which was made into a pendant that was later lost. I'm going to have it set on this trip to Brazil, as well.

The gold I will contribute will come from Granny's ring (currently on my pinky) and Mom's high school class ring. Family rings for family level bonding. My wedding and engagement rings are made with family stones, so there is a significance there.

Symbols are meaningful to me.

Symbols are meaningful to my partners.

I am surrounded by love

The kids -

School is finally in session, and for once I have a decent comeback to the day-walkers, when I complain about getting up in the morning. "I work until 1am" stops 'em in there unsympathetic tracks. ;)

Critter is in high school, making his lunch the night before school to avoid the lunch-line. He eats with the same kids every day, rides the school bus with a friend (a girl!) down the street, and is mostly bored by his classes.

Tigger is at Sayre. He's got the teacher that all the third graders hoped they would get in fouth grade. He gets to sit with his friend who transferred from TLS last year. They send the lunch menu home a month at a time, and he's allowed to take a lunch from home when he doesn't like the selection. Fridays are fish or burger days, so that's a definite once a week choice.

A cool thing: the school chef invites family recipes. I'm going to contribute TIgger's favorites, as a surprise.

Snacks and water bottles are welcome, and candy snacks are allowed on Fridays.

Car-line is much more organized at Sayre.

So far, all the parents I've meet have been friendly and nice and I'm looking forward to parent events. I can participate in the parent organization, which meets on Thursdays at Sayre (as it did at TLS), since the Rookettes have dissolved.

I'm keeping in touch with Berry, and helping her with TLS chess, which sounds like it may be a mess this year. We're going to early church service on Sunday, and then gaming with the kids in the afternoon.


More music surrounds me.

I am wrapping myself in beauty. Beading, stitching, art, music.

Marks on my tummy. Next bite, we'll work on how to leave welt, and still feel so absolutely fabulous while biting....

oh, and having a string of great hair days. :)
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