July 10th, 2004

bundled up, walkabout, snow

My father's words about Granny

Daddy spoke about Granny at the memorial.

My parents are my role models, and I find that one of the times that I cry is when I think of how far below them I fall in my own estimation. I cried when Daddy thanked Mommy.

There were hymns, Mommy's friend Lisa spoke about Granny, then Daddy did, then the pastor. I really love my parents' pastor. He has surely found his calling in life, as a minister and teacher for their church. His words touched me, as they always do.

There was yummy food, and my cousin was there, with his wife. We talked a little - mostly about our dogs. They have a lab puppy who sounds like a handful of love.

Home now. Gonna hunt up my phone and turn it back on and change the voicemail message. It's so seldom that I turn it off, that I tend to record a message explaining why, when I do.

I do intend to write about vacation, but there isn't much to write, really. It's that kind of restful vacation. Needful, considering the context.

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bundled up, walkabout, snow

the lighter side

or, what I've done so far on my summer vacation.

When I arrived last Sundsy, I was really too strung out from driving to do much of anything. I splayed myself on the couch in my guestroom while Critter and Tigger pulled in things from the car.

Mom was actually out when we arrived. She was picking up Pappasito's takeout for us to have for dinner.

I eventually got up the energy to see if my wireless card would work in the house, then settled into the dining room with a long ethernet cable as an alternative.

Mom has ensured that Tigger has gotten to the pool everyday that we've been here. I've been once. Often, I've been too tired from being out during the day, or headachy. I tried going without caffeine at all on Monday, and that Did Not Work Well.

We saw Spider-Man on Monday, and The Terminal on Wednesday.

On Monday, we began our quest.

Anyone who has ever had the misfortune to shop with me, knows how picky I am about shoes. I'm very set in my opinions of what looks right, and to complicate things, I have a high arch which make many shoes not fit.

By Friday, we had shopped at Wal-Mart, Payless, M&M Shoe Warehouse, Dieschmann's Shoe World, Ross, Kohl's, looking for summer sandals for me.

The last pair of sandals that I had, that I really liked, were a victim of Flood when she was a puppy. This year, thongs are IN, which means that finding sandals with a heel-strap is a major challenge. At one point, I actually found a pair of sandals with an ankle strap that attached to the upper, but not to the sole. Sigh.

At the beginning of the trip, Mommy bought me two pair of flip-flops. The kind with weird scrubby soles at Wal-mart. I wanted purple, but it only seemed to come in 11/12, so I asked Critter's opinion of yellow vs orange. When he asked why I couldn't wear one of each, we decided to buy two pair. So I have succumbed to the flip-flop craze. They are perfect for going to the pool, so I can't complain.

Friday, we found my new summer sandals. Brown leather uppers, padded flat soles; the uppers are a triangle of leather attached to a single anchor between the big toe and second toe, then to half-inch side straps. The side straps and heel strap (also 1/2 inch leather, with 3/4 inch elastic at the buckle) are attached to the upper via small brass rings. It's a very simple design, very lightweight, and stays on my foot without hurting. They were originally $29.99 but they rang up as $9.99, bonus!

The search was long enough that I may buy another pair at the Kohl's at home, if they still have them. I like the style well enough that I may investigate getting Erosul to copy them for me...

Now we have no quest, and are aimless for the next week.

We have not gone out to eat. *gasp* anyone who knows my mom will not believe this. But. Granny died, so people brought food. And keep bringing food. And recipes. I have a recipe for Mexican Lasagne that I will post in my journal after I experiment with some small tweaking. I've had yummy peach cobbler that conquered my low appetite and made me feel all bloated and icky from eating so much. Okay, so maybe it's more than reduced appetite at work. I've had brownies better than mine. And, I'll be getting the recipe.

I touched a woman's heart by exclaiming over her fruit torts. Want that recipe too, she was just so pleased that her "thrown together" dessert was pleasing.

Mom has given me the ring that Granny wore all the time, to complete my left-hand set of rings-I-wear-all-the-time. She also gave me a pearl ring that was Granny's that will be added to my "cocktail ring" collection.

There are other things of Granny's to go through.

There is Schlitterbahn, a must-visit for the boys. There is the possibility of visiting the ranch of a friend who raises cattle and also has unusual goats from South Africa. And yes, they do say "Ma-aa-aa-at" ;)

I've bracelets to repair for Mommy, and when we popped into Hobby Lobby for the elastic, I fell in love with some jars that we will be returning for.

Now, all I need is for *someone* to tell me what I can do with jars that look like lightbulbs. ;)

I'm not sleeping well. Wolf said Goodbye. Sydb tell me that he doesn't speak for him, but well, we both know how awkward that will be, and heck, I really don't expect to hear from her for awhile, at least while she needs to be there for Wolf.

Oops, this post is supposed to be about the lighter side.

Okay, so lighter?

Yes, facing a clear cut end with Wolf is devastating. But, final, and something to well, work on as an assumption of life, now, as it were. Have *mostly* stopped crying about it. There are *lots* of reasons to think about him and everything memory kicks me a bit.


Sydb did not say goodbye. In fact, reacted awfully strongly to thinking I was dumping her with the bathwater.

She's said some strong words to be about dependency, and I know that she doesn't want me latching on as some kind of life preserver, But. She provided me with light. Light in the darkness.

And mommy held me and I cried, and well, I'm working on that moving on, living life, thingie.