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minikin

Minikin's Journal

Routine Ramblings of an Occasionally Interesting Housewife


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Wearing out
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minikin
Entropy reigns.

I had a wonderful visit with canuckgirl while she was here. I've more cooking to do today: Easter Sunday dinner, with Flar's dad invited (my idea, BTW).

So maybe I'm experiencing a little after-visit let-down. Or maybe I'm just wearing out.

For gosh sakes, I was crying the middle of the afternoon yesterday. Because I was lonely. I had this wonderful woman who flew all the way from Omaha to visit, and Wolf and Sydb who came all the way from Louisville, even with Sydb having a bad cold, and my family, which I'm reminded is more company than many ever get, and Ro being so nice.

But I was the only one in the kitchen at the time - I'm talking for all of 30 seconds, really, this hit fast. And I was in tears almost, before I could even muster up the courage to go into the next room again, and even then, I couldn't even directly ask "could someone keep me company?"

And then later, talking to Wolf on the phone, when I didn't even expect a phone call, and I should have been all happy, listening to his voice on the phone, and getting to chat. I just got sad again. He asked if I was okay, and I told him not really. And then he asked those awful words

What's Wrong?

A million and two things and nothing and how can it be that the most kind and caring words that could be hurt too much to bear? Why does it hurt to hear "what's wrong?" How could there be anything better to hear?

No answer is right. Not one thing that hurts is what's wrong. And I don't know isn't accurate either.

Maybe just me. I'm wrong. I'm not happy and that's a wrongness and I want to fix me, but I feel like I'm wearing out.

Work to do. Dishes are dirty again. Food to fix. Table to clean. If I vaccuum the dining room, will Flar ask me why I did it?

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No answer is right. Not one thing that hurts is what's wrong. And I don't know isn't accurate either.

Maybe just me. I'm wrong. I'm not happy and that's a wrongness and I want to fix me, but I feel like I'm wearing out.


I feel the same way alot of the time - that I'm wearing out. I'm physically kaput and I hate my body and the fact that I feel like I'm "stuck" in it. It's very frustrating.

If you feel like having some girl talk and crying our eyes out together, I'm here for you!

Thank you. Maybe we could have a big bubble bath together and laugh or cry. But I don't know when. Not tonight, since it's Easter.

Are you going to DC with Knight, or is that a trip by himself?

This happens to me all the time. It's ok to be triste every once in a while, as long as you don't let it devour you. Do you think maybe a hot bath might help?

A hot bath would be great. Maybe tomorrow while the kids are at school.

Heh...I hear you on the timing there. Well, I hope you have bubbles. :)

Right now, I have lots of bubbles. Palmolive bubbles.

Yeah, I'm gonna be doing some of that too...:S

I'm so sorry, sweetie. I wish you could've cried on my shoulder. I'm sorry I didn't notice.

*hug*

That's okay. It probably would have made me think I'd ruined your visit, so it's just as well.

We had lots of fun playing games and joking and hanging out, and that's the part that I'll remember. :)

Sweetie, you couldn't have ruined my visit.

*hug* I had a really good time. Thank you for having me. :)

Thank you! That's really welcome to hear. :)

I'm glad you came. :)

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