That was very unpleasant.
We've been pretty good about dancing around each other the past few times we've done this, but tonight it became apparent that Flar didn't have a complete understanding of the current state of our checking account, and rather than sit down and figure out where to go from here, we had to go through a very messy how did we get here from there.
Flar does not listen to me when he tells me to explains something to him. And I can't stand being interrupted when I've just been given a clear request for information. Partly because it throws me off-track on what I'm trying to say, and partly because each interruption has a high likelihood of shearing the discussion down another misunderstanding blind alley, that would have been avoided by listening to the next bit. Argh.
I made a mistake in the numbers last week that didn't fool me one bit into complacency, but seemed to soothe Flar. And started to make the same mistake this week. I figured out the problem quickly enough, but couldn't adequately explain it to Flar.
My explanations all failed. It came down to clicking and pointing in the Checks to Pay window of Quicken. Clicking on checks to pay doesn't affect the check book balance, because the balance reflects all entries as of the date they enter the register. Even checks that haven't been printed yet. At some point, Flar finally said "but the balance didn't change." And then he got it. Sigh.
I hate being behind in paying bills. I hate having to go through strange calculations to figure out the actual checking balance at any particular time. I hate having to explain it all to Flar, when he's just bullishly saying that the numbers don't make sense compared to last week.
If anybody reading this is praying, pray that Flar's clients will pay their bills, and that Flar will sign new contracts soon. IF he gets clients to pay outstanding accounts receivable, he's got enough signed work to get us through July. But one of the outstanding accounts is $18K. And that would just make life bearable again.
People always say at this point: "I need a vacation." I'm getting a vacation. But I don't know how much I'll be able to enjoy it, worrying about all of this. What I need is to dissolve into tears and drift in a hot bath until I can sleep without the worry. What I get to do is stuf bills envelopes, pack up errands bags for tomorrow, and leave the house 1.5 hours early tomorrow, to watch a friends' kid in a school play.
I'm pretty sure I'd be this messed up even if it weren't the first day of my period. Well, pretty sure.
Tuesday - Orange
Wednesday - Yellow
Thursday - Green
Friday - Blue
The Weekend - Purple