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Minikin's Journal

Routine Ramblings of an Occasionally Interesting Housewife


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Faith in 2008
LJ Idol
minikin
This is my entry for LJ Idol, Topic 8: What the New Year Will Bring


Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. &dagger

What the New Year Will Bring

Not might, not could, not perhaps or perchance. What Will.

Since I cannot see into the future, and can only factually predict a small amount, it is with faith that I see the year playing out in front of me.

Factual predictions:

Critter will graduate from high school, spend his last summer at home with family, and matriculate at Rice University in Houston in the fall.

Tigger will continue to work hard in school, succeed amazingly at balancing the hard work with play, and continue to startle us with his unique perspectives.

Flar will continue to work hard on business opportunities, providing well for all of us, travel on business and pleasure to Brazil and Dubai and probably other destinations.

I will continue to cycle between productive/organized and procrastinating/slothful.

Faithful knowledge:

2008 will see God work in my marriage to bring Flar and I closer together; to return lost intimacy and connection.

2008 will see God lead me out in His plan for me, placing leaders in my life who will challenge and grow me.

2008 will see God support me through the significant lifestone of my first child leaving home.

2008 will see God use me, use my family, and use my church to bring Glory to Him.

God will be with me in 2008 through good times and bad. What bigger shoulder could I ask for?

Exciting Opportunities:

My mother will celebrate her 70th birthday in the same month that she and Daddy will have been married 50 years.

We hope to travel as a family to China in the summer, to visit my brother and his wife, and to see some of the country.

We hope to reduce our current debt level, as well as possibly finish the remodelling of our home, if any of Flar's "big" projects come through.

Fears:

Is it the loss of intimacy, is it the years of witnessing my fragile emotional state? He didn't share this with me. Which also means it's second-hand, and something I really need to discuss with him.

Flar told Mom that this may be his last Christmas. How's that for a response to how are you really feeling? I mean, I know the numbers. And I'm witnessing the fatigue and the pain and the illness. But he puts up a brighter face for me.

Out of the blue Daddy asks me, what would it take to get back in the programming field? OMGnoI'mnotreadytodaceit!

But I will have God with me no matter what fears bring into the new year.

And, there'll be a kitten someday.

I can wait til after 2008 for the kitten. Hear me?



† Hebrews 11:1

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The fear is there; the circumstances have progressed. A response in comment is more appropriate than an edit.

I talked to Flar last night. He was awake when I came to bed, and we talked about nothing and everything and the talking was good. I wouldn't have expected to be able to start a sentence with "Momma told me that you told her and Daddy ..."

He clarified for me that he was speaking of the 5% of patients who don't survive the first year of dialysis. Of the 5% of patients who don't survive complications of cadaver donation. He's expecting that the new year will bring dialysis, if it doesn't bring cadaver donation. So there is a chance that this will be his last Christmas.

Fear clarified. Connection re-knitting.

I knew Flar wasn't feeling well, but I did not realize just how serious things are.

Do you remember "Mars" from a few years ago? I am not sure you actually met him, but I talked about him a lot. He has been on dialysis for a while now, ever since the doctors decided he would not be a good recipient for transplant. When he heard that news, he decided he wasn't going to put up with all the emotional crap he had been inflicting on himself. He accepted that someone loved him, in spite of everything, and he has married her and taken on the responsibility of being a father.

I am so proud of him.

Flar is a great person, and together, you can all do amazing things. And as we both know, C C C and more C is key.

Love you!

Thank you. I do know that in the bad, there is opportunity for great good. Muchly hugs.

Great entry! Congrats to your parents, I love hearing about couples who've been married for so long. :)

Thank you. :)

I passed along your congratulations. :)

You made me hurt. Most of the entries for this entire contest have been clearly written with an audience in mind and yet this one of yours comes from a very different place. At least it seems to. A much more private and scared place...it's very raw. I felt like I'd peeked in on you while you were down on your knees praying to God privately. As if I was intruding a bit in your pain and struggles. Thank you for allowing me that self-conscious moment.

Thank you for reading along, and for your kind comment. I was just thinking the other day about how I used to buy blank journals and never fill them, that live journal gave me a voice by giving me an audience. And yet. I seem to write to myself more easily now than when it was purely private.

It's interesting to me that most of the topics in this competition have really just seemed quite personal and delving. Sure, New Years Goals or Resolutions, that would have been fluff. But, What the New Year WILL Bring? That implied faith to me, and stretched me considerably just thinking about it.

Despite your fears, I hope 2008 is the best year ever for you.

Thank you. I have faith that it will be. :)

Wow, very moving and power entry.
Thank you for sharing.

good luck with all your projects and everything else!

I enjoyed reading this; thanks!

It is hard to share your fears but you did masterfully.

May 2008 bring health and happiness to you and yours.

It's a good point, the role that faith really plays in the "new years resolution" thing. It also seems that writing all that down nudged you enough to talk with Flar as needed...

Yes, writing is a way of thinking things out more clearly for me. Somehow, things seem so much more obvious when I've written them out -- but then, I suppose it's the process of writing in which I'm doing the figuring out.

There is another post, bubbling through my head, speaking directly to this entry, and the title that I chose as linking text on the LJ Idol Topic page.

Faith, hope and fear in 2008. I expect to hear this resolved over the next few weeks of study at church. In the new Celebration series, Inked, we're going to be studying the fruits of the spirit, as listed in Galations. I expect that we may be reading I Cor 13 next week.

This made my heart swell up really big and my eyes fill with tears. It was beautiful.
Hebrews 11:1 has always been my favorite verse.

Isn't is a beautiful verse? Thank you for your kind comment about my entry. :)


God, love, and kittens. :-) What could be better?

I will hope for 2008 to be only the positive things you listed, and that you see not one of the frightening ones come to pass.


I hope for only the best for you. You are fortunate to have such faith.

And kittens always make everything better. I promise.

I hope that God continues to work in your favor.

*hugs*

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